Basic Tele2 service pack...3:00pm:
996 KINO TV HD, two idiots babbling about movies as though they knew shit. Best thing about this channel was the very likable blonde girl they chased away many months ago and then disrespected by putting a sign on her chair saying Ï Am Not A Movie Geek." FU movie twats! I have no idea what HD means. Huge Dicks? It can't possibly mean High Definition. You don't know shit movie twats!
997 Video Noma actual movie promo's. But direct to video stuff. It serves no purpose but to eat bandwidth and in this it succeeds wonderfully.
998 HD Testa Kanals, the same National Geographic loop for many years now. Planets. Origins. Sea water flowing over magma. It picked up for 1 month this summer when it was a 24 hr Seal concert. Contract must have run out. Back to bubbling cauldrons of mud and bad graphics, for another year. There's that HD again'!
100 INFO KANALS what it sez folks. How to run your remote to better enjoy the many choices offered by your basic Tele2 channel package.
101 LTV1 German kiddy movie sub titled into Latvian with audio. Death.
102 LTV7 Soccer. Slashing my wrists.
103 TV3 Latvian soaper. Looking for something to punch.
104 LNT Latvian daytime talk show. Forehead hits desk as I nod off. Awake with a start and find remote control spilling drink in the process, blonde host is suggesting violence to her guests. CLICK!!
105 TV5 Russian, cuz of the neon backdrop and stupidity. Sub titled into Latvian. Bad suits. Flesh colored face mic's. The horror, the horror!
106 TV6 English shit sub titled into Latvian with audio, Some sort of sci-fi futuristic detective twaddle with typically bad American writing. KILL IT WITH FIRE!
107 KANAL S2 English twaddle in Latvian...need to pee.
108 Russian talk show in Russian. Not bad. There is a drunk outside my balcony, off to find my pee pot.
109 РОССИЯ PTP- Russian historical soaper. Good production values. Good acting. Looking for my bottle and a pickle.
110 HTB-МИР breathless propaganda. My head hurts. Complete drama queens.
111 REN TV some sort of shite.
112 3+ Horrible great big fat man with gold teeth and a huge nasty dog in a mold infested flat. Ahhh, it's a mystic show with soothesayers and visions! This should be good! Freaks.
114 RE:TV (BOOM FM) Two sports like dummies in Hawian shirts yapping about something in Latvian. Twats.
115 Positivus TV The music festival on a loop. Umm...
117 OTV Latvian kindergarden. Kids. But without the benevolent sun face in the sky. Needs moar drugs.
118 TV RIGA-24 Some sort of local cable that never fails to put me to sleep. Pretty people though.
181 Russian! I Don't understand! Too freakin fast!!
182 LRT News. Russian? Uke? Jeezuz, it's Lithuanian! Need to pee again.
183 BBC World News. Buh bye!
184 Eurosport
185 Fine Living. EAT THE RICH SHEEPLE!
186 Crime Investigations. In English but it doesn't help. Shite.
187 ESPRESSO TV Uke. All war all the time.
188 Baby TV. Need serious drugs to appreciate this one, in English unfortunately.
201 TV-21 Some weird English movie with Russian audio. Looks, bad.
203 FOX Sci Fi? English sub titled into Latvian, vampire? Dystopian theme? Pulse slowing, vision going black at the edges...
205 UNIVERSAL CHANNEL universally shite they mean!
210 SONY ENTERTAINMENT English with Latvian subs. They should be sued for using the word entertainment. The laugh track is enough for me to start killing flies in the flat. OH FUCK! The baseline! It's FRIENDS!!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
301 Cartoon Network What it sez. Cartoon. But weird, and in Russian. This is a good way to practice ones Russian however. Giggle, funny.
302 Nickelodeon Please die Disney. Now.
401 Eurosport. Those biking fools again. Get saddle sores you idiots.
402 Eurosport2 Tennis. I hate you Eurosport.
404 OUTDOOR CHANNEL. Rednecks. All day all the time 24/7. Kill yourself now!
411 Sportacent Latvian sport twats.
501 DISCOVERY CHANNEL Any idiot with a GoPro and a wetsuit can be on this channel. Need a beer.
502 Animal Planet. I usually only watch for the monkeys. They don't have monkeys anymore.
503 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. I remember when National Geographic was a quality educational channel with truly thought provoking photography and topics. Now I keep expecting Sarah Palin to take a shit on camera.
515 HISTORY CHANNEL why are they rebuilding cars on the History Channel?
601 MTV EUROPE Kill yourself now!
602 V11 EUROPE see above
603 Some Latvian music channel which means their version of country music. I'm not a total bastard. You watch it and figure it out for yourself. I'd rather drag my face through a bag of hammers tho!
MTV MUSIc 24 Ghetto shit yo!
605 Latvian music again, maybe? Northern Europe? I don't know.
606 Music channel...sigh.
607 ...more music...
608 Iconcerts. What it sez.
701 All Russian movies all the time.
801 Euronews
802 CNN Twats!
And I pay for this shit because my internet and landline are bundled. Not a single Italian channel in the whole bunch. This will not stand!
<edit> of course I meant Lattelecom
