Latvia Ghetto Games

I have to admit I was initially biased against this series of events not knowing the reasoning behind it. I was doing something in the flat with the tee-vee on sans sound which is SOP in TRex world and out of the corner of my eye I saw the adverts for the 2014 Ghetto Games in Ventspils and right away I got pissed off because for some reason it reminded me of ICP, juggalos and all that weirdness. Also because I thought someone was just marketing the ghetto. Bear in mind I'm fresh off my New Wave hate fest so it took me a while to calm down and check out what this stuff was all about. Imagine my surprise!

Now I'm kinda curious! Withholding judgment and all.

But there's no way I'm going to Ventspils on Aug 8-10 for any reason at all.

Valium Nation Moscow Edition

It's been a while since I wrote about our home away from home on Gruzinski val, Belorusskaya station,  Moscow and there are some pretty good reasons for that I figure. But since most everyone in Moscow is currently having to deal with the change out of electrical meters demanded by Mosenergo let me give you a heads up that may save you a ton of heart ache! Surprising no one I am sure I suspect there is the possibility of a scam here (there is no such thing as paranoia in Moscow!) but reality dictates that it is too sweet an opportunity for there to not be a scam against all property owners who may be spending most of their time outside of the country and therefore not be in a position to deal with issues in person.



It works thusly:



Mosenergo gives you a notice that your flats electrical meter is old and needs to be replaced. This is a normal enough request so you make an appointment and the deed is eventually done. It's not quite that simple but if you have ever lived in Moscow there is no need for me to fill in the gaps.



So you ask the service tech what to do with the old meter and he says to bin it as he is required to report the old readings to the head office and billing will smoothly transition to the new meter all nice like! With no problems whatsoever. My antenna should have been up and twitching right about then.



So like an idiot you throw out the old meter and the service tech promptly gets a decimal point out of sequence and you now owe Mosenergo 12 billion rubles and having left the city you call from a foreign area code to attempt to smooth the situation and are told with rank hostility that if you don't pay it by next week the word goes out to the border police (a department of the FSB) and the next time you visit the country your passport will be confisgated and you can't leave. Until you pay seventy billion rubles, because penalties and all!



So eventually with many phone calls to the original service tech who suddenly has no record of ever having met you you are suddenly the proud owner of a burnt out Lada and a clean electrical bill. The end.



Well, what did you expect?


The fact is that Moscow authorities do not actually descriminate against foriegners as far as I am aware. They treat everyone like dirt. But that bit about being prevented from traveling out of the country if you have an outstanding debt is perfectly true and I am sure the fact is used by anyone who is trying to settle an account whether it is a legitimate charge or not.


It seems to me that unless you are filthy rich or friends of some really ugly people owning property is just a huge hassle. If it isn't nasty neighbors then it's self-important officials looking to have something to produce for their next peer evaluation with the boss. But renting has it's own pitfalls as I am sure we all know.


I remember a line from a William S. Burroughs story where to get rich was to get cured and man am I ever in need of a cure!

New Wave

New Wave 2014. Blech. Mrs. T has the gig not me so I doctored her multi-pass. Think it will work?

<Edit> Something I just learned. Basic workers like drivers (plenty of off duty cops) and translators are supposed to get vouchers to eat. These vouchers are worth 15 euros and include a drink so of course the various organizers steal them and drink for free while the poor worker gets nothing. One of the many reasons I detest New Wave.

American Singer Caught Up In Wave Of Anti-Putinsm

Hah! Fooled yah! It's not an a real American singer but Putin apologist and celebutard Steven Seagal, "America's Favorite Douche Bag!"

MH17 Crash Forces Estonian BluesFestival To Drop Putin Supporter Steven Seagal From Bill

Steven Seagal has been dropped from the bill at an Estonian blues festival, with organisers made nervous by his ongoing support for Russian premier Vladimir Putin and his position regarding the Crimean peninsula.

With the deepening international crisis following the downing of Malaysian Airlines' flight MH17 on Thursday, schedulers have decided to replace the martial arts actor turned blues musician, due to public unrest over the situation in this part of the world.

Seagal's relationship with the Russian president has flourished since he was drafted in to help launch a national fitness programme, and their shared interest in martial arts has led to a series of celebratory photo-calls.

Further, Seagal has spoken out in political support of Putin. The Guardian quotes him saying to a Russian outlet, "He's one of the greatest world leaders alive today. I consider him my friend."

Seagal reportedly added that Russian's annexation of Crimea was "entirely reasonable".

Estonia's foreign minister, Urmas Paet, told Tallinn's newspaper Delfi: "Steven Seagal has become active in politics in the last few months in a manner not befitting a world which honours states based on the rule of law."

Although all eyes are currently on the Ukraine, where rescue workers continue to go through the wreckage of MH17, and international communities await anxiously the return of their victims of the crash, Estonia is understandably on edge, with Putin on the record calling to protect Russian populations in post-Soviet states.

No word yet on who will replace Mr Seagal, although it's probably safe to say it won't be Gerard Depardieu, another infamous Russian supporter.

Steven Seagal is a noted misogynist and coward who I won't bother bashing again as I have posted about him before. What is interesting however is how outspoken non-Russian supporters of the Putin regime are maybe starting to feel the heat in the international arena. Sure, it's just a music festival and he isn't exactly on a black list of persona non-grata like what Latvia has recently applied to Oleg gazmanov, Joseph Kobzon and Allu Perfilova (stage name - Valerie)  but it's a welcome start. Now if they could just add some intellectuals like Stephen Cohen I would see it as a positive development.
who supports state sponsored terrorism.




In todays climate of a rampant and out of control Putin led Russia (Pooty currently has the highest approval ratings in 14 years if you can trust the numbers) I support any and all measures taken by countries of the EU to put the gears to anyone
Blogger is such a shit platform I'll be surprised if anyone can read this post. I need to move evrything over to Worpress without losing it. Anyone?

Strange Encounters Of The Strange Kind

A partially toasted but soon to be drunk Latvian guy walks up to me just as my wife and I stand up to leave our park bench and asks me if I am English? I roll my eyes at my wife like, "...see what I was telling you earlier? I can't go anywhere in the summer without someone trying to bum a ciggarette..." and he catches it and mumbles something about no it's not like that, do you have a cell phone? Now my wife is rolling her eyes at me in warning but the guy goes again, no it's not like that and mumbles can I tell him the time on my cell phone? Now curious, I reach into my pocket with my hand that has the wrist watch on it and holding my phone in a death grip I show him the screen which indicates that it is 1:00 pm precisely. Then we just turn and leave before he can figure out why he was talking to me to begin with because my home page on my iPhone is a seriously wasted looking Keith Richards with a ciggarette in his mouth.

Thinking Of Investing In Latvia?

Don't do it. That's all. I've deleted this post a dozen times over the last ten years and now that I finally want to post it I just can't without condensing it into a very short format that won't drive away readers but unfortunately also lessens the impact of the problems my wife and I have encountered here, again and again. I tried setting up a separate site to deal specifically with the problems we've experienced here as I see them but the time involved and the document scans and explanations necessary not to mention the language issues just made it a non-starter. If you have questions then by all means ask for clarification in the comments and I will oblige to the best of my abilities. I have reams of documentation and registered letters to back up any claims I may make. So here it is in bullet format:

• The system is broken and is kept broken for a reason. Data bases don't talk to each other and this gives great leeway to local managers to do as they please with impunity. They resist positive change. They resent positive change!
• Citizens always have the upper hand against non-citizens. Consider the history of this country and the number of non-citizens and you can see a huge unresolved problem that isn't going to go away. It's not a bug but a feature!
•  Even amongst citizens those who are not connected through a well established system of nepotism and clans will be beaten down. Why anyone would acquire a Residence Permit here for any reason other than access to the EU is beyond me.
• As a PRP holder (husband of a Russian repatriate) I can attest through direct experience that trying to stand up for rights accepted as normal in the rest of the EU will lead you to conflict with the pocket police and massive debts to a advocate or lawyer that at very best will result in a draw. You will not win and will most likely face the exact same charges again down the road, it will always be hanging over your head. You will not win. Ever.
• Because of the previous point Latvian citizens are very adept at filing complaints through a compliant and corrupt system at no cost or responsibility/accountability to themselves. I once had a local prosecutor attempt to extort 400 lats from me during an investigation "through the local police inspector in charge no less" to close a file with another 600 going to the individual who filed the complaint against me. Not close the file in my favour mind you, just close it for now. I declined and spent a year paying a lawyer to keep me out of jail. I would love for someone in the field of yellow journalism to ask me about that one. Kompromat? Anyone?
• Latvian officialdom is two faced. Very nice on the phone or even in person but constantly working against you. You will never know where you stand. Ever.
• Bribes work. KNAB does not. Don't even bother.
• It won't matter how much transparency your company brings. It won't matter how much money you bring to the local economy. It won't matter that you bring a positive benefit to people who this country have written off through austerity measures. Any chimp in a stained tee-shirt can file a complaint against you and initiate a process to bring you down. And it may even, most likely will be, someone who has benefited directly from your largesse. There is no loyalty here. They love to see their neighbors get fucked somehow. It's a Latvian thing.

I won't be staying here much longer. We are winding things down and taking our energies elsewhere. We could never dump our investment without a huge loss so we are unfortunately tied to this country for the forseeable future. But this brings us no joy.


Don't come here except as a summer tourist! Word.

Know Your Enemy

Ever wonder where these guys went after Latvia became independant? I see them everywhere, you just have to know how to look. See those guys teaching MMA on Jurmala beach? Notice the expressionless stocky fellow who just busted into the queue at the local checkout? All these Soviet ex-military are still around. They're hard to miss.

I'm actually surprised Latvia has such a short list of "banned people" or persona non grata as they say in the educated ranks. Could be a lot larger I figure.

Former Riga OMON Major Vladimir Antyufeev appointed new deputy PM of the unrecognized Donetsk People's Republic

RIGA, July 11 (LETA) - A former major of the Soviet OMON police unit in Riga Vladimir Antyufeev, who Latvia has included on the international wanted list, has been appointed the new deputy prime minister of the unrecognized Donetsk People's Republic.

Antyufeev also served as former chief of security in the unrecognized territory of Transnistria in Moldova, and is also wanted by authorities in Moldova.

In a press conference in Donetsk, Antyufeev stated that ''he has fought against fascism'' all his life.

Describing his active participation in attempting to suppress Latvia's independence efforts in the early 1990's, Antyufeev described his actions as ''an active fight against the resurrection of neo-fascism in Latvia''.

On January 20, 1991, OMON troops, loyal to the Soviet regime, attacked Latvia's Interior Ministry, killing six people during the January 1991 events in a failed pro-Moscow coup attempt following the Latvian SSR's declaration of independence.

Seven OMON officers, including Antyufeev, were subsequently found guilty by the Riga District Court and were given sentences in absentia.

Antyufeev subsequently fled Latvia to Russia after the country regained independence and has since been wanted by Latvian authorities for his crimes.

As a major of the Riga OMON forces, Antyufeev and his troops carried out various attacks against pro-independence supporters during the January 1991 events in Latvia.

The Entrance To The Car Park Of The Estonian State Opera.

Shamelessly lifted from Reddit. Forgive me, but it's so cute.

Babīte Train Station Beautification

Well, I'm guessing some local good has come out of this Rīga European Capital of Culture thing that has been bestowed upon that fair city for 2014 I suppose since if you visit Rīga it's likely that if you have the time you will take a train to at least Majori in order to experience some of the famous Jūrmala beach. Which means you will pass by Babīte, at least twice. I certainly have no other explanation for the sudden works being lavished on my local train station as it has pretty much been an eye sore for the eight years I have lived in the area. Maybe someone complained!? (tears of laughter and stomach cramps) The station itself was painted once (maybe twice?) in all that time as I recall but the tool shed and more importantly the pee place have never been done to my recollection and boy did it show! Behold;

the pee place before...

... and after!

The tool shed was even worse if you can imagine!

And of course...

...the station itself. Currently under external remont.

However past experience shows that it won't take long for the tags to show up, :(

Babīte is the first station on the Tukums line outside of Rīga municipality, Imanta being the last. It's a quiet little village which is why we like it here and only 18 minutes to the city with an Elvi and even a nice bar/restaurant and two (2) bus stops, but there are no police and it sometimes gets a little hairy. Probably why so many crooked businessmen have property in the area (shhhh!). Still, it's not the worst station around as I have documented previously but that pee place should be blown up! It's so disgusting that men mostly just duck behind a tree and woe betide the desperate women who enter therein. Just think, "sticky shoes." Yuck. Unfortunately if they improved it too much some bum would probably take up residence and burn it to ground with a camp fire meant to warm up a stolen can of hobo beans. 

Still, I like it here and we won't be moving anywhere else in Latvia. When we do decide to decamp Babīte it's straight to Italy!

Canada Day in Latvia

Hey ho! Long time between posts but it's hard not to say something about my home country on it's birfday today so here goes.

Established as a country in 1867 Canada is now 146 years old. Yea! I've celebrated Canada day in a bunch of countries since I became an Expat, not that I do it religiously or anything but any excuse to drink before noon I say! But I do carry around a honking big flag in my backpack to fly in solidarity on these occasions. In Latvia it's usually on the beach. Only this year sucks hard and today it is raining so furiously there is nothing I can do so I settled for purchasing a ridiculously expensive bottle of supposedly imported Canadian Maple Syrup to temporarily replace the Latvian honey I normally slather on everything. I hope it isn't fake, the Maple Syrup. Latvian honey is almost universally doctored unless you know where to purchase it.

What do I miss about Canada the most? Let me see ,,, ;

1) A well established civil society with uniformly enforceable laws. It doesn't exist here in Latvia yet in spite of what folks might say. You will never notice if you are a tourist hopping off a Ryan Air flight or a ferry in the port but Latvia is an impossible place to do transparent business and unfriendly to boot. A country with a declining population of now less than 2 million it seems that everyone knows everyone and foreigners are still red meat. Riga I can deal with but outside of Riga it gets nasty. Latvia is not a comfortable place to live and work. Eight years experience talking here folks.

2) The friendliness of Canadians. It's almost embarrassing and a well worn out joke outside of the country but I hope we never lose that civility (oops! my bad). You may not notice it until you leave the Motherland for some period of time but let me assure you that we Canadians are just freakishly nice in a cauldron of not nice. Never be shy about being nice homies! When I lived in Tokyo it was respected as they have a very ordered society and nice counts a lot. Except when I was getting kicked out of bars/restaurants because they thought I was Russian. Anyway, Be Nice!

3) Universal Health care bitches! I had both knees replaced here in Latvia at an out of pocket cost of CAN 10,000 without rehab and I can tell you that it hurt our bottom line in a big way. Still, for perspective, we have an old lady renter who recently suffered a mini stoke and spent 5 days in hospital receiving a bill of 150 EUR when she got out. Her pension is about 250/month and she was reduced to living on potatoes and cucumbers for three weeks so we gave her money for food and forgave her rent (paying ourselves basically) which is where that "Canadian Nice" comes in. Most everyone we know laughed at us. Anyway...

4) Canada is a land of immigrants. We know it and we celebrate it which is currently in stark contrast to our friends to the south and, quite frankly, here. Word to the wise, if you are going to sell Residence Permits in order to tweak your real-estate sector which is wholly owned and controlled by ex-Soviet apparatchiks and the current glut of Brussels office seeking politicos then open the door to citizenship wider. Just saying.

5) This is a questionable one but I include it because it haunts me so! Red meat. We just don't eat red meat anymore. Or even pork. That may just be a combination of locale and the influence of Mrs. T who is a closet vegetarian but beef just isn't a big thing here and pork wears thin real quick. That came as a real shock to me as Alberta was my home before fleeing Canada and huge BBQ's heavy with all manner of beef products was the norm. I can't even eat a full steak anymore as my stomach just rebels and it bothers me so as the brain continues with it's demands to "consume the fucking steak you pansy!" I miss bacon as well.

6) Personal vehicle. This is actually a big one for me! OK sure, there are lots of places in Canada where you can exist without a vehicle but outside of most well established urban centres it's just impossible, Canada is just too big and spread out to make it without even the crappiest of transportation, as long as it can pass a vehicle inspection you are good to go. Public transportation in the EU is so well established by Canadian metrics that one can exist quite nicely without a vehicle which may free up funds for other things, like new knees, but it does nothing for the ego. I miss my car/4X4 truck/bike. Really miss them! Yes I can walk to the train station from my flat in exactly two minutes with eighteen minutes travel putting me in the Riga central station where another eight minute walk puts me on a tram to almost the door of my office but, it's just not the same as rolling up to a parking space with my own personal vehicle. I like the freedom of public transportation but I miss the empowering aspect of owning my own fossil fuel guzzling iron behemoth. I find myself becoming plugged up with frustration and feelings of inadequacy. My penis is perfectly normal, just so you know.

7) Endless aisles of food and stuff, consumer central! I mean hell, when last in Winnipeg I could hit my remote start from the comfort of the kitchen and 10 minutes later after wasting a gallon of carbon laden fuel idling the van just to get into my warm  "personal vehicle" and drive all of five minutes down to the Super Store and find just about anything I needed whether it be live lobster or powdered Voodoo Anti-Zombie Essence®. Whut? 21 long aisles of dry produce last time I was there not counting the fresh baked goods/fresh vegetable produce/dairy/dead animal sections. Then there was the clothing/appliance/pharmacy/optometrist, etc...etc... and it's not even considered a mall! All under one roof! To be fair they have places somewhat like that here, called Spice and Stockman and so forth but they have no real choices. Sad face, :(

8) Fellow Canadians. Last time I checked the official Latvian statistical web portal there were a total of 43 Canadians who had received Residence status. It's a small group and I don't know any of them. Not that I've reached out but whatever.

9) Rob Ford. Oh, wait!

10) Clamato® dudes! Look, get in touch with me, seriously. Eating a pickle with my vodka is killing me!